Life Happens, Smile!

Life happens, make the best of it!

Your Wife Would Like You to Know

Here are five things your wife would like you to know but for a variety of possible reasons, she won’t tell you.

She feels overwhelmed and likes when you take charge. Between taking care of the children, making dinner, and keeping the home together, not to mention working, she has a lot on her plate. She wants you to be her partner, not another person to take care of. That’s why it’s music to her ears when you offer to make dinner or do bath time, even though you may have worked all day. Picking up some of the slack provides her tremendous relief and she sincerely appreciates it. Don’t wait for her to ask. Just do it.....watch how quick her behavior may change after you do it.

She has a hard time turning off the “mom reflex.” She is not always attentive to you because she is preoccupied with the kids. It is not that she doesn’t care about you or love you, but is very difficult to stop thinking about them and their needs, even during adult time. While it is crucial to have alone time with your wife, understand how challenging it might be for her to refocus her energy on you and don’t take it as a sign of rejection.  Even after having you around the house or having an outing, the "mom reflex" never really goes away.  She may really want your help, however, she may feel its a whole lot easier for her to do the task instead.  Don't get upset and frustrated, this is a normal part of being a mom.

She loves to be cherished. Even though you may not be inclined to express yourself emotionally, one way or another you have to let your wife know you love and cherish her. Tell her through words – written or spoken, or thoughtful gift or a romantic getaway. It doesn’t matter how, just make her feel special. Guys may be able to go without many of these things, but to many women this is her oxygen. When you cherish her and make her feel important, she feels valued and appreciated as a wife. When she does not feel cherished, she may feel resentful or insecure about your relationship.

She is sensitive to other women and potential competition. Watch how you talk about other women and praise them, even for things that seem benign like, “Wow she’s a good mother.” She wants to be the best in your eyes. The thought of you praising someone else when you may not praise her enough may make your wife feel that she is not satisfying your needs. If you have women friends (probably not the best idea) or female colleagues, tread lightly. If your own marriage is going through a rough patch, having relationships with other women (friendships or business – not romantic), especially if you imply you enjoy their company, can be very painful for your wife.

She wants to be heard. Hear out her anxieties even if they seem trivial to you. Instead of telling her not to be worried, validate her fears and offer to help her. When she stresses out about next year’s carpool schedule, don’t brush her off. Genuinely listen and volunteer to help. Take practical steps together to relieve the anxiety, it calms her down and makes her feel taken care of.  Listening is the key to a better relationship.  You as her husband may not always be able to "fix the problem" (which your wife already knows), she just wants you to listen to her uninterrupted.

Recognizing You're in Bad Company

Are you in bad company?  Below are a few ways to identify bad company

• They always find something negative from your positive
• You feel drained after having a conversation with them
• The conversation is always one sided 
• They lie to others about you
• They try to belittle you through subliminal messages
• The issue is always someone else's and not their own
• The phone rings and you let the voicemail pick up

Your life is your life!  Be cautious who you surround yourself with.  Be an observer and pay close attention to these type of people.  They'll suck the energy out of you until there's none left.  As easy as they came into your life, they can be removed from it.  You'll breathe more freely when you do!

My life, my goals.....

As I lay here, my mind just goes nonstop!  My mind reflects back to my life and all the life-changing events in it.  I stuck to my goals regardless of all the trials I experienced!  As a child, I wanted everything to be as close to perfect as possible.  I wanted my future and my future kids to be able to live a stress free childhood.  I set my goals when I was younger like 13 and I can remember every one of my goals too.  They may not mean much to someone else, but to actually say that succeeding all my past goals I set as a child is a rewarding feeling!

My goals were:

• Always have my own transportation (I don't have a clue how to take the bus)
• Finish high school
• No kids until I graduate from college
• Graduate from college
• All my kids to have the same father

In life, you set goals and go for it.  Once you reach them, you make new ones!  Some goals may not go as YOU may have planned, but that's okay!  It's not the end, get back up and keep going!  I have new goals in place, no time frame set at the moment...but I plan to attack them soon!  Many people somehow get the idea that stay at home mothers are lazy and lack the brains or education, that's so not true!  So many of us stay at home mothers have more drive than you may think.  We just may not boast about our successes to others, or have plaques hanging on our entrance walls of our house.

Don't allow yourself to envy others for their successes!  Get that "drive" and set your own goals and go for it!  If things don't go as planned, it's okay...you're not in total control of your life anyhow HE is.

 

Good luck my goal setters!!!

Morning Brew.....

In times of hurt or pain, learn how to deal with it!  There's no medal for trying to deal with things alone.  If you need help, get some!  It didn't make you less of a person. Whether it's doctors, counseling or prayer, they're people with experience in dealing with the issues you may be experiencing.  Depression is real, and it can sneak up on you really fast. 

Different people have different symptoms. Some symptoms of depression include:

• Feeling sad or "empty"
• Feeling hopeless, irritable, anxious, or guilty
• Loss of interest in favorite activities
• Feeling very tired
• Not being able to concentrate or remember details
• Not being able to sleep, or sleeping too much
• Overeating, or not wanting to eat at all
• Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts
• Aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems.

Everyone deals with tragic things, it's how you deal with them that will determine what'll happen with you.  Having a good support system, talking about the situation & constant prayer is what helped myself through! 

Goodnight Thoughts......

Everything worth having is worth waiting for.  Whether it's a relationship, new career, having kids or whatever.  When you rush into things, usually the outcome isn't good.  "Good things really do come to those who wait!"  What's the rush?  It just might not be "your turn" yet.....just relax!  If it's not working your, maybe it's time to change things up a bit!

It's That Time AGAIN.....

It's PCS time again.  For those of you that might not know what this means it stands for permanent change of stations.  I've been organizing and trashing things so this can be a smooth process.  This is the apart that I dread every time that it comes around.  Having to lug little ones around is the most complicated.  It's actually cool to be able to see different parts of the world.  However, I hate that my kids are getting to the age where they're sad because they created awesome relationships with their friends.  Heck, I've created some good friendships that I'll truly miss  a well.  I wish things could be different.  As for now, we'll have to rely on our good old technology.  FaceTime and Skype with friends will soon be a part of our weekly routine.

Life's Choices

Driving home this morning, I saw some high school students walking to school in their graduation gown.  It put a smile on my face as I thought "they made it."  What an accomplishment to graduate these days in a world filled with so much chaos.  What an even more awesome accomplishment to be able to maintained honor roll as well.  It's so easy these days to be influenced to do the wrong thing, but I've came across some amazing students who are leaders instead of followers.

In life, they're many different roads you're allowed to choose.  Life is about choices from the beginning.  It all depends on what road you decide to take.  Whatever road you decide, it's yours!  If it's a wrong one, remember that you can't place blame on anyone but yourself.  So many times, I see/hear individuals complaining about their life, but still continue to make bad choices.  It's always someone else's fault the way things are going for their life.  Own it, and then do something about it!

No Worries......

Well, I just locked myself out of the house walking to pick up my kids from school.  I couldn't be mad, all I'm doing is laughing at myself.  I dreaded the phonecall to my husband only because he'll have to leave work to come open the door.  One thing about him though, he never seems to get upset about much.  Always calm and relaxed.  He says, "no worries. I'll be there shortly." Life should be about "no worries." Most of the things that may happen in our life, you can't change, you deal with it or grow from it! I'm this case, I'm dealing with it! :-)

Smile, it looks good on you!

What I miss most about my life before kids is.....

• Not having to make dinner
• Being able to just get up and go
• Only having to make my appointments 
• My choice of music
• Only having a few dishes in the sink to wash
• Sleeping later than 7am
• My weight loss was much easier
• Carrying purses daily (my purse now is the diaper bag)

All these things I miss, but without my children...my life would be so boring! Keeping up with my children is keeping me young!  

What do you miss most about your life before kids?

What Would You Want to Be Remembered For?

If something ever was too happen to me, what would you want to be remembered for?

I would want to be remembered for is the caring heart that I seem to have.  I'm always trying to find a way to help someone in need or just being there for those in need.  I would give give my last dollar if I knew it would help you get out of whatever situation you may be going through.  I would also love to be remembered for being an awesome mommy to my awesome kiddies.  That I work so hard each day to see them happy and successful in school. Oh, and one more thing! I would like to be remembered for the awesome wife I've been to my husband.  Always being loyal and not the nagging type.  Giving him the secure feeling that he needs in our relationship. 

I'm sure I could list many things, but those were the top things that came to mind!